My heart is whispering sadness this morning. For the first time in longer than I'd like to admit, this morning I turned towards Hubby while my heart whispered sadness I didn't realise was there, I turned into him and tucked myself into his arms, laid my head on his chest, and fought tears I couldn't comprehend. Was I overtired from the last few, far less common, broken sleep nights? Was I irritated that he was working even though it was planned, and I'd known about it for ages? Was I feeling a bit disappointed in myself for not taking more consistent steps towards goals that have been set in my heart, and discouraged by being, seemingly, no closer than before? After a breakfast of eggs on toast, and some quiet cuddle time with the little, I've realised I'm homesick, as well as all those things I listed, but I knew those ones, I just haven't felt homesick in years, maybe decades (I'm so old I can say decades? 😂) and it was a foreign feeling to me, and it was softly whispering sadness into my being. It's beautiful down here, there's a fresh dusting of snow on the mountain peaks even though it's nearly summer and the days seem too hot. But I was reminded this morning that sometimes we need to get above those mountains, because when you're surrounded by them, sometimes they can start feeling oppressive. And there's no sand down here, just rocks, rocks in the lakes, and in the rivers, and on the paths on forest trails, I'm a barefoot girl, but you can't really walk barefoot on shale, it's pointy and sharp. I miss sandy lakeshores, and ocean beaches, and loamy forest paths I can walk barefoot on and feel grounded in. And I miss my people, my whanau, my family. I miss hanging out, and talks, and babysitters 😂, and our nephews and nieces, our niblings (your new favorite word, look it up). And I miss my Hubby, we've been so focused on settling in down here and family time on his days off, that we've let us time fall to the wayside a bit, might be time to get a babysitter in and schedule some Māmā and Pāpā alone time. So today, I'm going to take some time to let my heart whisper sadness and let a few quiet tears roll down my cheeks and settle into huggles from my boys.