I can remember like it was yesterday. The screaming, the yelling, the crying, the slamming, and the curses. My brother and I are were on the top floor of our house with our door closed terrified of what was going on downstairs. This was an almost every day occurrence with my former stepfather. Abusive in every way imaginable, and alcoholic, a true animal. From the ages of 9 to 11 years old there was a lot more bad times than good. A lot more tears of pain and hurt then tears of joy and laughter. For myself, my brother, and my mom. It was around 10 years old where I came to learn the curse word “cunt”. This was something my stepfather called my mother regularly. To this day I despise that word. This night was no different, again cowering in our bedroom with the door locked and our bookcase blocking the door to prevent my stepfather from coming up into our room to hurt my mom again the three of us were hiding in our closet crying terrified not knowing what we are going to do. Whenever the cops came nothing happened. My stepfather had an in with the majority of Bergen County from cops, to judges, lawyers, big business owners and anyone else of power, so nothing was ever done and this time would be no different.
It’s been almost 25 years since all of that has happened, and is still fresh in my mind and I believe it always will be. To this day my mom still deals with the pain, and result of the physical emotional, mental, sexual abuse that he put her through for three years.
My reasoning behind this story is because this is part of the reason why I do what I do, I am the way I am, and I will never ever give up. Because my mom never gave up on me and my brother in the worst times of her life even when it meant sacrificing her own safety. My life experiences have molded me. None of you should give up. No matter how hard the situation is, you can never give up. You have to find that purpose to keep going and believe you can accomplish anything. I myself am not where I want to be in my life yet, but I soldier on. I fight every day, I do what I have to do and I don’t give up.
Find your purpose and be an unrelenting warrior. #bestrong #keepgoing